gentleman

Standing in the street, 6:45am, talking about how we can’t be together… tears stinging the eyes. We are fully clothed and naked. I am stripped of all hope and warmth. I feel love flooding from my body in an invisible stream of desperate pain. You ask me to stop being a gentleman and I don’t understand what you mean. You ask me what I want from you and I don’t know how to answer. I repeat mindless, fumbling, useless words such as ‘I am not asking you for anything’… oh, but I am… I am. I tell you honestly how I feel but I don’t know if you’re afraid of physical involvement with me, or if you are merely afraid of emotional involvement with me. Perhaps it would be okay if it were purely physical? Perhaps you want both and expect me to fight to have you entirely to myself? I just don’t know. ‘Stop being a gentleman.’ What do you mean?